10.29.25

Before I lose my center again; at my appointment, the physical therapist tells me about his life. I'm not sure if this will help at all. There's a knot in my back that just won't go away. He continues: Three years ago, I lost everything. I was working a good paying job, I was a doctor, I was respected, I lost it all. I had to enlist. In Egypt, it's mandatory. I went from being a respected doctor to cleaning bathrooms, serving officers tea and coffee. I thought it was the end of the world. And then, there was an opportunity, near the end of it. And I never imagined I'd come here. I still can't understand the pain in my back; where does it all come from? Not to be religious, he said, but God's plan is greater than ours. 

Later at home, a knock on the door. L___ wanted a ride to the pharmacy. I try to keep quiet, he says during the ride. I'm up at 3 AM. It's the PTSD, all the bad memories come back. I buried my whole family. I don't know what to say to this so I don't say anything. He tells me to park in the truck loading zone. Don't worry, no one will mess with you, he says. He pulls out the dog chain around his neck and smiles. Then he goes into the pharmacy, to buy a few packs of coca-cola, since they help with the migraines. 

My back still hurts. I think about that person, the one I'm stuck on. Time will pass anyways. Under my feet I feel the boat we call life.