7.26.23

how i couldn't smell you or remember you for who you became. back when i drank beer, drinking with you. before i knew ocean, i wanted to know you. growing parallel to each other, i tried to become beautiful to you. for you. this was a life, i demonstrated. this is a normal job. i am a normal person. i walk down the street with full knowledge of who i am, what i am capable of. was i beautiful then? I thought so. And now? I reached across the screen, in front of the audience, to try and hold your hand. eternity in a day. I was trying to grow up then, and so were you. cooking together. cooking apart. california is a beautiful place. I tried to live into that. But all I can see is concrete. this tree isn't enough to hold me together. i followed you. getting there, i found only myself.