12.19.22

The idea was more freedom than this. It's true that I still want answers from everybody. Most of all, the city reminded me of the forest. Looking around, I tried to remember the age of things. 

Now that I do all of my thinking on the train, a few nights ago a man asked me about my scarf. It's a pretty scarf,  he said, meaning something else. I know it must be strange for someone to talk to you on the train he said. He walked over and sat next to me and crossed one leg over the other, in the way men do. He asked me if I was a musician and I tried to make him comfortable by looking at him and in doing so I confused myself. Was I asking for this? We exchanged biographies, synopses of why we were here now. He must have been my age. You must understand I got off the train early. I felt like a fish on a hook. 

Then days later on a work call, a woman asks me: "what's the best decision you've ever made in your life?" 

There again, the passing of things. I won't pretend to know what any of this means.