7.22.26

Trying once again to find the place inside. During lunch, my aunt pulls out a calendar book. I look inside to see my grandma's handwriting. 

She writes -
2013: The old man has passed away.  

2015: Second son is home, he is having a hard time. We are building a new house. 

2016: Shenzhen sold, family falls into decline, mother wants you to come home soon for reunion

2017: old hometown behind reconstruction, work begins in March, Zhongfei works hard at home, carried the burden of the whole family

2017:a new year begins. I so wish for my son to come back to China soon. I miss him very much

--- 

And it continues. They didn't tell me inside of loneliness there would be another person. Sometimes it is shaped like a mother, a grandmother, a father, a lover. Sometimes there isn't anything there, just an empty space waiting for me to make something of it. Anything at all.