8.22.24

Can I survive desire? Can it be - like a wing, can I follow its call, lay it on its side? Can I say yes, can I say no? Can I stand that recently, it doesn't seem to speak anymore, or shine? Can I withstand its scientific explanations? 

Returning to the self, I've already crossed that threshold from here to there. I already said - stop. Go! And: one more day. Returning to the self, I see that I've never left. I've been running from it-- want. I said deny, I said die, I said hold that breath, thought, line, life. 

Walking on the line, it never ended. I reached inside of myself and I still couldn't find you. The word hardly visits me anymore. There isn't even a door anymore to let it in.